When someone we care about experiences loss, it’s natural to want to reach out to offer comfort, to show support, to let them know they’re not alone. However, in these delicate moments, many of us find ourselves hesitating, unsure of what to say or do. How do you express sympathy without saying the wrong thing? How do you honour their grief in a way that feels sincere and respectful?
The truth is there’s no perfect formula. Every family grieves differently, and every loss is deeply personal. Still, what matters most is your intent, reaching out with kindness, empathy, and a genuine heart. Whether it’s through words, actions, or simply being present, your condolences can bring more comfort than you might realise.
Start With a Sincere Message
Sometimes, the simplest words carry the most weight. A heartfelt, personal message expressing your sympathy can go a long way in letting someone know you’re thinking of them. You don’t need to write an essay, in fact short and genuine is often best.
Here are a few examples of phrases that can feel supportive:
‘I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts.’
‘There are no words that can truly ease the pain, but I hope you know how much I care.’
‘Please accept my deepest condolences. He/she was truly special and will be dearly missed.’
If you knew the person who passed, including a brief memory or quality you admired can make your message even more meaningful.
Respect Cultural and Religious Traditions
When expressing condolences, it’s important to be mindful of the family’s cultural or religious background. Customs around mourning and support can vary significantly, so showing sensitivity and respect is key.
For example, some families may appreciate flowers, while others might prefer donations to a cause or charity in the loved one’s name. Certain faiths may observe rituals or prayer periods, and acknowledging those respectfully can demonstrate thoughtfulness and understanding.
If you’re unsure, it’s okay to gently ask someone close to the family what would be appropriate.
Offer Specific Help and Follow Through
In times of grief, even everyday tasks can feel overwhelming. Offering help is a beautiful gesture, but rather than saying “Let me know if you need anything,” try being specific.
‘Can I bring you dinner one night this week?’
‘Would it help if I took care of the school pickup for a few days?’
‘I’ll be dropping off a care package tomorrow, is there anything you need?’
Taking initiative, even with small gestures, can be a huge relief for grieving families.
Attend the Funeral or Memorial, If You Can
Being present at the funeral or memorial service can be a powerful way to show your support. Your presence honours the person who passed and lets the family know you’re there for them during a time of sadness.
If you’re unable to attend, a handwritten note or a message sent on the day can still mean a lot. Just knowing that people are thinking of them can bring comfort.
Keep Showing Up After the Funeral
Grief doesn’t disappear once the service is over. In fact, for many families, the weeks and months that follow can be the hardest and this is when ongoing support really matters.
A phone call a few weeks later. A message on a meaningful date. An invitation to a coffee catch-up or walk in the park. These gestures help people feel remembered and supported long after the initial wave of condolences fades.
Kindness Matters Most
There’s no perfect way to express sympathy, and that’s okay. What truly matters is your intention to offer warmth, care, and presence in a time of pain. Whether through a kind word, a thoughtful gesture, or the simple act of listening, your support can mean the world to someone dealing with the difficult journey of grief.
At Funeralcare, we are a family owned and operated Perth funeral home and we believe that compassion is at the heart of every farewell. If you need guidance on how to support a grieving loved one, or you’re planning a service and need assistance, our funeral directors are here to help with respect, care, and integrity every step of the way. Call 24 hours +61 8 9371 7177 or enquire online now.
